Transcript for Ep 2:
Welcome to Every Mother Matters. I'm Sharon and in this episode, I will be sharing with you about my family. 

 

In my earlier years, I was just doing what I should be doing without any precise plan or objective, even though I had the freedom to make my own decision.  

After completing my diploma,  I kept changing jobs. I even went to a fortune teller to have some insights but was told that based on my birthdate or bazhi, the situation would be the same for my whole life. 

 

I always wanted to further my studies. My mother did not believe in education. She hated seeing me sitting down to study the whole day without doing anything. She said those big bosses did not study much and yet could be rich. I always felt that I was the odd one out in the family.  I was the only one in my family who love to study and even though my brothers and my parents were smokers but I was not. 

 

I felt that at least I needed a professional certificate. That was what many people around me were doing at that time too.  When I graduated, I knew that my mother would not be happy to see me graduate but my father would be overjoyed. In order not to create tension in the family, I did not inform my father that I graduated and I did not take my graduation photo with my family. 

 

 

 

While working, My female colleague in my department was trying to introduce her niece to our male colleague because she said that he was a nice guy who did not drink alcohol or smoke.  She also asked me if I had consider this guy as I was single but I told her that I was looking for a vegetarian guy only.  So, I tried to be matchmaker.  

 

 

When I  mentioned it to him, he asked me why didn’t I recommend myself instead. I told him that I was a vegetarian and so we were not suitable. From then on, he always came to look for me.  He knew which way I walked to the office and he was always somewhere waiting for me for breakfast or meet me in the morning. It was quite stressful to me. I considered myself lucky if I did not see him in the morning on my way to the office.

 

 

 

 

Finding him not the right one for me but I did not want to hurt him or waste his time.  I proposed that we got married soon. I was very uncertain and doubtful about my suggestion, but it was a marriage proposal to him. I suggested that we go to a fortune teller to match our birth dates but he refused. I advised him to book the restaurant. 

 

I married for the sake of marrying at the age of 32 to him and he is 7 years my senior.  It was the company policy that husband and wife could not work in the same company.  After we got married, I left the company and found another job.

 

I had my first baby at the age of 37 before it was too late and I wanted a second baby and I had a baby girl at 40.  

 

My husband is a responsible man and in a way traditional. I never felt being loved because he never said the 3 magic words "I love you". 

 

Like my father, my husband expressed his love by taking and providing for the family and he cooks well too. 

 

As I spend majority of my time learning new skills in baby care and postnatal care for women after childbirth, I appreciate my husband more. Without him, I will not be able to do what I am doing. 

 

 

After the birth of my first baby, I decided to be a stay-at-home mum because I did not feel safe or trust anyone else to take care of my baby. Taking care of a newborn was really exhausting. My husband did not understand why taking care of a baby was difficult since his mother could handle the cooking, baby, cleaning, marketing and all.  

 

He told me to sleep when baby was sleeping.  He commented that I was useless and did not know how to take care of our baby.  Hearing his comment, I felt totally unappreciated and depressed.

 

I felt that being a stay-at-home mum was not very healthy for me because a mother’s job was always not appreciated and there was no benefit or value.  I still need to take care of my baby even when I was sick.  I knew that I could not live like this without losing my identity.  So I quit my job again.  I knew that I did not want to go back to the office anymore and I started to do job relating to mummy and baby.  In 2014, I formed Mummy Baby Care providing home visit services. Since then, I stopped changing job.

 

My Key Takeaways-

 

Life has its purpose.  It took me much pain to learn what I need to learn and to find what I want to do with my life.  There are many doors open for me to explore but I will need to make my decision. The sooner you know what you want in life, the sooner you can get into the business of doing it or life is just wasted.  

If you have a wish or dream, just do it, there is nothing you cannot achieve, if you want to do it, the best gift for our children is education. It is important to set purpose and direction. 

 

It is our job to guide them until such age when they know what they want to do with their lives then we need to acknowledge and let them make their own choices.

 

 

I hope my story will inspire you to realise that there is no dream too big or too small and it is never too late to take action now.

 

 

You can connect with me through my facebook, Instagram and Linkedin and my links will be in the show notes. 

 

 

I look forward to seeing you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you more tips and stories. .